A few weeks ago I went home from work on a Monday with an overwhelming feeling that I just did not want to go to work the next day. Now, I am a normal person - usually - and it isn't unusual for me to wish I could stay home from work to do things around the house. It IS unusual however for me to have more than a fleeting thought of staying home for any but my usual days off if I don't have anything specific planned for which a day off is actually warranted. As I made my usual commute from work to home however this feeling got to be incredibly intense. My head started to hurt, my eyes started to itch and I thought, great, now I'm getting sick or having an allergy attack. Throughout the evening as I prepared dinner and sat down to eat it with R the feelings grew, the headache got worse and the eyes began to blur a little as they got itchier. Finally at bed time as I said my prayers I told God that I'd stay home if I woke up feeling as bad as I did right then, or worse, just figuring I'd be better in the morning. When I woke up the act of lifting my head off of the pillow was an effort in will power. My eyes were puffy and swollen so that I could barely see. I looked like I'd been bopped in the face! That's it, I was staying home. I called and left my message at work, got R's lunch and breakfast ready and prepared to go back to bed. The moment I laid my head down on the pillow again the headache began to clear and the swelling in my eyes went away. Weird. Well, I was home already so I decided I'd just enjoy the day and get some chores done.
As I puttered around the house, humming along with some music that I had playing I noticed that the wind was kicking up outside - quite a bit! Branches began falling from the trees and hitting the house, making me worry about the skylight. They kept crashing to the back deck, and I, in my infinite "wisdom" kept running out to pick them up and toss them overboard into the yard. Smart, huh? Yeah, that's thinkin! At one point as I ran from the bedroom from depositing some folded laundry into it's proper spot, to the laundry room to put another load in, the dog began to dance around like she needed to go out. I eyeballed the French doors to the back deck, watching the trees sway violently back and forth in a frenzied dance with the wind, dreading going out in it and weighing my options. As I stood there, about 5 feet from the doors, I heard a voice say loudly in my left ear, over my shoulder, "DO NOT GO OUT THE BACK DOOR!". I jumped and whirled around, since I was home alone, to see who was in my house, my heart thundering in my chest, adrenaline suddenly coursing through my body . . . nobody was there. Of course they weren't, I was home alone . . . but no, I wasn't, for a moment I'd forgotten that we are never actually alone. God is always there, watching out for us. I turned back to the door and in that moment, perhaps a minute or so after the voice told me to not go outside, a tree crashed into the porch, snapping the trunk on the support beams of the deck, and landed on the roof of the house, sending the doors crashing inward with the force, the resounding noise sounding like the entire house was going to come falling in around my feet. As I stood there for a moment, in shock, I realized that the tree had landed exactly where I would have been standing had I taken the dog outside, and the destruction of the BBQ Grill, the railing, etc. could easily have been me. I began to shake in reaction, as I closed the doors and attempted to secure them shut.
Over the next few minutes the reality set in as I put all the pieces together. I needed to be home from work that day. If I had not been home the tree would have landed on the house and the doors knocked open, leaving the inside of the house open to the elements whipping around outside, the pets would have been at risk for getting out, and possibly hurt or killed, and I would have missed out on something so profound, so miraculous, that to have missed it would have been devastatingly wrong. God told me to stay home and in my stubborness the only way He could work that out was to make me feel sick and blur my vision so I couldn't drive. I knew the wind was blowing and that I shouldn't go outside, but in my momentary indecision about whether or not to take the dog outside, I was ignoring what common sense was telling me about the safety out there! Through all of that, I heard the voice of God. He spoke to me in an audible voice, getting my attention when nothing else He was showing me was getting through. I've heard the voice of God before, but not for a very long time. He usually speaks to my heart and often times I sit up and take notice. He comes to me in my dreams, showing me things I need to see to solve a problem or issue, refreshing my soul as a puzzle is solved in my mind and heart. Rarely though do we get the chance to hear Him speak out loud, so when we get that opportunity it's really a good idea to wake up and pay attention.
In the battle of Tree Vs House, the tree had a temporary victory, but the house stayed strong with only minor repairs necessary. In the battle of my will vs the will of God? My will struggles to take hold, wavers on the edges of drowning out the voice of the Lord, but as I grow and get stronger in my foundation of faith, God wins hands down. My small victories are actually losses, but as God makes the necessary repairs and builds me up, then ultimately my "house" will stand strong and durable as only a house built on God can stand. In the battle of You vs God, where do you stand?
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