Thoughts of My Daughter . . .

Where do the years go? I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with my daughter as clearly as if it happened yesterday . . . the day I went into labor with her. . . her first day of school . . . her first real date. . . the day she moved out on her own . . . bringing us to today, the day I bid her farewell as she leaves her home state to move away for the first time. There are snapshots of memories racing through my mind's eye, most of them wonderful, some not so wonderful but equally important, some serious, and many silly. Each one is a blessing as they mark events in the life of one of the three biggest blessings of my existence. My daughter is my first blessing, my son is my second, and the third is finding the man of my dreams at the onset of the second half of my life. But for this segment, this will be about my daughter.

She was the most beautiful baby girl ever born. It has to be true - all the nurses said so and we know they see an awful lot of babies! From day one she drew everyone to her side like moth to flame, her personality one that just attracted young and old. She stayed beautiful, and became irresistible over time. She is the brunette Marilyn Monroe of her lifetime, or would be if she were ever to grace the silver screen. Everyone thinks I exaggerate, until they lay eyes on her. It's pretty incredible. It is very common for me to shake my head in disbelief that someone so beautiful, with a personality so magnetic, could have come from me. But she did, and even though she does have faults, as do we all, I tend to see the good and the true, the beautiful and the dynamic. She is my little girl, but I am fortunate enough to include her as my friend.

She is moving away, but distance is relative in this world in which we live. She will be back, and I will visit her in her new home. We will talk every day, we will email, we will IM, we will text. The only change is geography. So, since this is true, why do I feel like I'm losing a piece of my heart? Why do I feel like I'm being ripped to shreds from the inside out? Why do I feel like the tears just will not stop? I don't have answers to those questions. Children don't come with a guidebook that teaches you how to deal with every situation as it arises. I've taken every life event as it comes along, and dealt with it flying by the seat of my pants. This isn't any different.

So, now I'm off, in typical Mom fashion, to bake cookies for her trip. Gotta have cookies on the road right? Hey! It's something I can DO til it's time to cry as I hug her goodbye. I'll know she has something of me to carry with her into her new life, since I can't be there myself. Now where did I put that cinnamon?